Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been 8 weeks since my last confession.

Well, well, well, my child. It’s been a long time since you’ve graced this blessed sanctuary. I’m going to take that as a good sign, and assume you’ve been leading a plastic-pious life since I saw you last.

I’ve been giving it the old college try, that’s for sure. But Father, if I had been completely plastic-chaste, I wouldn’t be sitting here in the confessional today, would I?

Good point. So then my child….what is the SIN you have to confess today. No, no, let me guess…..you finally succumbed and bought plastic-packaged mascara, didn’t you?

Oh Father, now you’re making me feel really guilty. I wish I had sinned over something as worthwhile as mascara. Remember my last SIN was so much bigger than mascara – I had bought a new home.

Yes, I remember.

Well the SIN I have to confess today is on the exact opposite end of the spectrum Father. It’s actually quite minuscule in comparison to buying mascara.

Now you have me intrigued my child, do tell, what is the SIN you’ve committed?

I bought replacement razor blades for my paint scraper.

HUH?

You know, those little