i want to reunite a mother with her children

Hi everyone,

I’m new at blogging and not all that computer savvy but I found this website and really want to be a part of it. I love reading about the positive changes being made and I hope you find my ‘change’ interesting too.

I met Mara three years ago. I was facilitating a 4 day workshop for people who wanted to learn about Job Search. As usual, on day one, I asked everyone to ‘tell us a little bit about your self.’ I learned that she had arrived in Vancouver two days previous, from Uganda, Africa.

After class, she stayed behind and she asked me if she would be allowed to attend day two, since she did not have the required social insurance number. (It was a government sponsored course.) She explained that she was “desperate to find a job.” I don’t know how long we talked that day but I do know that by the time we were done, her story of survival and her beautiful determined spirit had touched my heart. This is her story…

Mara’s husband was murdered in the Rwandan genocide in 1996. Consequently, she, her hut, and her five children were inherited, as property, by her brother-in-law. (Women and children have no rights in Uganda.) They suffered extreme abuse from this man but there was nowhere to turn for help.

The day that Mara found him raping her teenage daughter provided the proverbial ‘final straw that broke the camel’s back.’ She grabbed a nearby wooden stool and smashed him over the head. Thinking she had killed him, she instinctively grabbed her children and ran, and ran, and ran! They hid in the jungle during the day and ran at night.

Eventually, they made it to another village where a compassionate widow offered them food and shelter. However, it wasn’t long before she learned that in fact, she had NOT killed the brother-in-law, she had only knocked him out cold. He was now seeking revenge. He pressed charges against her and she was wanted for property theft. (The property being her kids!) If she was found, she would quite probably be killed. Again, they were on the run.

She came across a church and a caring pastor who helped her devise a plan. She would have to get out of Uganda as quickly as possible. The church would loan her the three thousand dollar fee it would cost to make this happen, (the price of freedom on the black market). It was agreed that the Pastor would care for the children and send them to join her when the time was right. She learned that the widow who had given them refuge had been shot and killed for letting them stay with her. It was a matter of life or death, she had to escape.

The three thousand dollars ‘bought’ her the paperwork she needed and an escort who smuggled her out of Uganda. She was given a jacket, and a pair of running shoes to add to the jeans and t-shirt she was wearing. With the escort, she boarded a plane, for the first time in her life, not even knowing where she was going. She was told to keep her mouth shut and she did as she was told.

She remembers changing planes in London, England and then arriving in Vancouver. It was September, 2003. It was cold and raining as she and the escort boarded the bus at the Vancouver airport that took them to the downtown area. He took her to a McDonald’s, bought her a cup of coffee, said he was going to the bathroom and that was the last she ever saw of him. Mara told me that she sat waiting for him to return for hours. She was sure he was coming back because he had left money on the table. It was thirteen cents. Unfamiliar with our money, she had no idea how little thirteen cents is. She was freezing, in a state of culture shock, alone in a strange country, she had nothing and she knew no one.

A woman noticed that she was crying and approached her. Fortunately, Mara speaks fluent English and she asked the woman if she could direct her to an immigration office. It was a long walk, but Mara was used to that! They helped her by finding her a bed at a women’s shelter. I remember Mara explaining to me that she had never slept in a real bed before and that to her, the shelter was a “palace.”

The next day, she was given a room at the YMCA; she was allowed to stay there for a week. She found the brochure there that mentioned the Job Search course that I was teaching, and the next day she was in my classroom.

THAT IS HOW I MET MARA.

After hearing her story that day, I felt compelled to help her. I called my circle of friends and told them about this incredible woman and they wanted to help her too. We formed an association, called Women Helping Women. Working at a totally grassroots level, we’ve been fundraising to help support her and to reunite her with her kids.

We had an auction and raised enough to get legal help to start the process of changing her Refugee status to Immigrant status. She has since, received immigrant status and that means that the children can come here, legally, as immigrants too.

We started an orange ‘care bracelet’ campaign, seeking a donation of a toonie for each bracelet. We are always on the search for places to set up with our baskets of bracelets and pamphlets about our ‘cause.’ When Paul Rusesabagina gave a lecture at the Chan Centre, we had our table in the lobby, same when Paul DeLaire spoke at the Chan. If you saw Hotel Rwanda, you know who these heroes are. We also set up at other various events and have been managing to raise funds two dollars at a time.

We organized a couple of GIANT yard sales last summer and with some help from local newspaper stories, they were very well attended and brought in a few hundred dollars. The single- mom owners of a children’s store in North Van, called, Sweet Pea Kids Wear saw the story and offered to put a dish of our bracelets on their counter and a school teacher from Balmoral Secondary came to a yard sale, read our pamphlet and got her class involved. The kids each took bracelets, sought toonie donations for them, and raised $340 dollars over the Thanksgiving weekend.

We raised enough to pay for the kids’ passports, DNA tests, and medical exams. We are getting close to being able to bring them here to be with their mom. Airfare for five from Uganda is going to be expensive and we don’t know yet where they will live when they do get here, and then there’s clothes and furniture and food, but, as I said, we are determined! One of our members is seeking donations on another website. We are all committed to this change and doing all that we know how to do.

If anyone is interested in helping with the bracelet campaign, send me an email, we have plenty more. Do you have a place for them at your workplace? Would you consider donating a toonie for one yourself or perhaps taking a few and offering them to friends? Would you like to make a donation? If so, it’s easy. You can go to any T.D. Canada Trust Bank and donate to Women Helping Women. Account number 5211444. No donation is too small. We know that a bunch of ‘small’ amounts to ‘big.’

If you are interested in knowing what Mara has accomplished since that day I met her, stay tuned, I will tell you in my next blog update.

Thank you for reading about my change.