January 3 sugar mountain

On December 31 ’07, I decided that my first resolution would
be to give up sugar for the month of January ‘08. I had gone without sugar once
before during a 12-day cleanse and thought to myself, “It won’t be that hard,
there’s always maple syrup and honey to keep things sweet.”

As of New Year’s Eve day I hadn’t told anyone of my plans to
break my 25 year-old resolution of not making New Years’ resolutions, nor of
the specifics to give up sugar, artificial sweeteners, and glucose-fructose.
Coming-out and breaking the news to my beautiful, near-perfect partner and her
sister didn’t get the reception I had anticipated.

According to the sister’s debating team, honey and “pure”
maple syrup were near-sugar elements. If I excluded them, I’d be copping out,
cheating and in effect my resolution would be next to meaningless. I might as
well collect dust bunnies.

I fought back with ironclad evidence to the contrary. For
example, I sited the lyrics from the song Sugar, Sugar by the Archies: “Sugar, ah honey, honey . .
. you are my candy girl . . .” I pointed
out that if sugar and honey were the same thing, the lyrics would simply be, “ Sugar,
ah sugar, sugar . . . ”

No, huh? Honey
and maple syrup were added to my list of banned dietary substances.