losing 5 minutes

Yesterday at school I lost some time that I thought I had gained. I realized I was still fighting. Instead of listening, I was deflecting. My instructor listened to me whine about how "I have this against me and that against me". I fell right back into old habits. He asked me something personal about my work. Was I creating it to tell a story about me or did I want other people to identify with it. I don't know why at that point I couldn't answer that. My husband had asked me something similar a short time ago, but I ignored him. I didn't have an answer for him either. But it is a very relative question and one that I need to answer truly to fulfill my resolution.