Living plastic free: CFL Lightbulbs

I know, I know…you’re thinking…'EnviroWoman this is a no-brainer. Of course you’re buying Compact Fluorescent Lightbulbs. They use 60% less energy. They last up to 15 times longer. Every Green Guide on the planet evangelizes them as being an energy saver. And energy saviour. I think they may even be able to walk on water.'

Well, life is full of ironies. And this is one of them.

And we’re not talking an itsy-bitsy-paramecium-sized irony. We’re talking a big, honkin’ Godzilla- Meets-Tyrannosaurus-Rex-sized irony.

Yup, get ready for it….you know what’s coming….CFL light bulbs are packaged in plastic.

And not just an innocuous bit of plastic that EnviroWoman could excuse as a MINOR SIN.

But a big, bad wad of plastic. You know the stuff I’m talking about….the hard clear kind that entombs its precious cargo. The kind called ‘blister pak’…oh, so appropriately and ironically named.

The kind that has no customer-friendly ‘tear here’ pull tabs to save your precious digits.

The kind you have to do battle with. That breaks xacto-knife blades and dulls stainless steel scissors.

The kind that puts you in such an instant fit of rage TheBeast goes scrambling for cover.

The kind that if you were into conspiracy theories you would swear was an evil retail plot to prevent you from ever returning another light bulb, printer cartridge, or computer accessory ‘in its original packaging’ as so often is required.

The kind that if you were really really into conspiracy theories you would swear was an evil plot to secretly decrease the human population by making a person’s blood pressure go from 120/80 to 210/120 in sixty seconds…boiling so high they keel over dead right there on the spot.

And it gets worse. The kind of plastic that doesn’t even have a recycling code on it…so it can’t be thrown into our recycling blue boxes.

Yuppers, it’s gotta go in the garbage only to take decades and decades to degrade. Maybe even 1,000 years considering how hard and thick it is.

A veritable sheep in wolf’s clothing.

A SAINT dressed as a SINNER.

Ironic isn’t it?

EnviroWoman was so heart-wrenched by this revelation she was moved to wax poetically...

Do not go gentle into that good light,
Eco-agers should rant and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the plastic packaging plight.

Though EnviroWoman in her heart knows CFL is right,
Because her pledge has forced a no-new plastic way
She can not go gentle into that good light.

Rage, rage against the plastic packaging plight.

Well, its not quite as good as Dylan Thomas but ya get my point.

By now you’re probably thinking…'Holy crap, EnviroWoman is gonna have to commit a whole new category of eco-sin and buy the lowly standard light bulb.’

Ahhhh, but you know EnviroWoman is as persistent as the Pope is catholic.

She searched The Bay, and Sears, and London Drugs, and Shoppers Drug Mart and was defeated. As a last resort she googled and was steered towards Canadian Tire. There she found a cardboard packaged CFL bulb produced my NOMA.

Gotta love the Noma...they got it right. Gotta love the Canadian Tire....they got it right too.

EnviroWoman can now rid herself of rage, rage...and return to her normal chocolate-induced GiddyZen state.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: CFL lightbulbs
SAINT: NOMA
Price: The same
Quality: The same
SINNER: Phillips, Duramax, Globe, (well, that's not very green of you guys)

Lessons Learned:

• Sometimes the greenies get it wrong. They try to enlighten us, but sometimes we have to enlighten them. Philips, Duramax, Globe…you’re gonna hear from EnviroWoman.