Kindess to strangers
I have to say that Vancouver is not always as friendly a place as other parts of BC. There's the urban cool, smileless expression (usually accompanied by a cellphone, the urban tool for deterring spontaneous, in-person conversation and to imply an impossibly busy life) that so many people have, especially downtown.
However, I think I've cracked the code. Two words (prepare yourself, they're a little 'woo woo Vancouver') - smile therapy. An Islander friend of mine was visiting me a few months ago and observed how I rarely noticed strangers, period. I was aghast - I never used to be like this! I remembered back six years ago when I moved into my first apartment in Vancouver (after eight years on the Island) and struck fear into the heart of my young Kitsilano neighbour for having the audacity to spontaneously introduce myself. I think she thought I was crazy or on something...
And so my friend suggested I make eye contact and smile at people - anyone, everyone. Old people, young people, cute boys and pretty girls, homeless people and wealthy grandmothers. Nothing too creepy - no wild eyes, imploring "like me! talk to me! be my friend!" looks or spontaneous chucking, just a subtle smile to acknowledge another. It works.
I even smile at people on their cellphones (I'll see the lips curl upward slightly behind the Chanel sunglasses - how can anyone resist - well, a few try). Most of the time you'll get a smile back. It's a simple way to connect with complete strangers and feel like you're part of a community.
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hmm... usually girls that
hmm... usually girls that I approach on the street that I don't know pepper spray or mace me when I ask them if they want a hug... lol.
But I do agree with you, Vancouver is not as friendly of a city as others I have been too. I wonder why that is considering we live in a relatively "laid back" city. I realize too that I sometimes have my head down and am oblivious to others on my way to work. So I decided to be more friendly, instead of just putting on clothes, I need to wear a smile on my way to the office. ;-)
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My bubble, my rules Over the
My bubble, my rules
Over the past few months, I've been refining my public smiling technique to the point that it's evolved into a fine science. A confident stride and a big smile as you're walking down the street to Granville Island or wherever is virtually guaranteed to get smiles, winks and nods a-go-go. No one is safe from my sunny expression, inexplicable optimism and a glimpse of my pearly whites.
Having said that, I read a better explanation of what I've been talking about (and my moderate reservations - rather ironically it would seem given than I'm blogging about it right now - about 'letting it all hang out' online) than I ever could have come up with today, and felt moved to share it (from Lynne Truss' Talk to the Hand, Gotham Books, 2005):
"There's an episode of The Simpsons in which Bart has a contagious mosquito bite, and is encased isolation bubble, and when he is told off for slurping his soup, invokes the memorable constitutional right: My bubble, my rules.
Increasingly, we are all in our own virtual bubbles when we are in public, whether we are texting, listening to our iPods, reading or just staring dangerously at other people.
Concommitantly, and even more alarmingly, our real private spaces (our homes, even our brains) have become encased in a larger bubble that we can't escape: a communications network that respects no boundaries."
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hilarious! i've actually
hilarious! i've actually developed a bit of a neurosis about it - "why do I smile at people anyways? maybe I am a bit of weirdo. maybe it's my own psychological projection of a need to be accepted, stemming from a lack of..." blah blah blah. i think we're alright lesli. why not have some fun with your neighbour? offer them your leftovers some evening.. better yet, catch them on the way out and approach them with your most exhuberant voice, "come'on, who needs a hug?".