Definitions of success
A wise friend told me recently lot of our ideas of "success" - whether in the work or personal arenas - have to do with being concerned about what other people think of us and our choices. Our culture pressures us all to conform and to want what everyone else wants. Others' perceptions of us then kind of morph into our identity - how we perceive ourselves. <!--break-->Here comes the cheesy quote: Gandhi said we need to be the change we want to see in the world. If we can change how we personally define success, and get vocal about it, people will adjust (unless, of course, they then decide they don't want to hang out with us anymore, which is probably for the best anyhow....)
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So here's something I've
So here's something I've tried to stop doing: asking people what they do/where they work. Not that it isn't interesting but I found myself judging them based on their job.
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I was once in DC presenting
I was once in DC presenting to some very important, wealthy funders for a huge project I was working to get off the ground. Program coordinators flew in from all over the country - it was nerve-wracking. At a dinner the evening before the big presentation, one of them asked me where I had gone to school (was it Ivy League?) and where I had done my internship (her employees all did internships at the Whitehouse, you see). Her disappointment that I had not followed a traditional "trajectory" (to use her exact words) into my line of work was clear. Suddenly I found myself questioning my adequacy. Then my boss who'd been sitting nearby chimed in that it was the fact that I hadn't followed a traditional path that had impressed her; I'd managed to accomplish all that I had without leaning on those things, in a world where so many people deem them so important. The presentation went really well. We got our multi-million dollar grant and I rarely feel judged when those kind of questions come up anymore.
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I don't think that is a
I don't think that is a cheesy quote. I think it is some of the wisest words I have ever seen put together. I really like what you have said in this post. It has inspired me to think of some ways I can be the change I want to see in my world - a task easier said than done.