Day 1 after layoff notice
So, on my 45th birthday, it was my last day of career naivety. The next day I am called to a last minute 5:00 meeting with the bosses. Hmmm this can't be good. Maybe they've caught me playing solitaire one too many times, or I've been late too many days or I know - my messy desk is a problem. Or maybe they need me to take on another new important project since I've made such good process on the boss's previous pet project. I'd just been learning some meditation techniques recently, so I thought this might be a good opportunity to practise spiritually protecting myself; just in case.
But who's that other person in the boss's office? Rose from Human Resources. They want to give me a raise!! Actually, I think my heart stopped instead; the solitaire thing is bigger than I thought! "We have some unfortuneate news to give you Daryl, ..." financial restraints blah blah blah until Sep 2008 blah blah blah we value your past contribution blah blah blah operating budget blah blah blah transition period blah blah blah remain professional blah blah blah we'll help anyway we can blah blah blah.
I hope you haven't heard this story before; some of my family members have :( When I got home, the big diseased pine tree in my yard had just been cut down; leaving a iddy-biddy stump, sawdust and trampled plants - just like my job and sole. But look ... the missing tree has opened up new space to let more sunlight in and allow other things to grow. How about that for a metaphor?!!
My meditation practises/thinking kept me sane for the evening and I even got to sleep early without any junk food nor alcohol. I've never had so many dreams in one night - one I recall was about being given a gift then having it taken away from me. But I awoke at 6:20am almost refreshed and an hour before my alarm. What's that about? I went about my job as normal today, but had to bight my tongue when coworkers said "well XXX pays your salary" and " you should add this option to that new project you're working on". Then it hit me like a train. My legs felt wobbly as I returned to my office and had to stop half way to sit down. I'm not going to be able to do these projects for them and I will not be apart of this team anymore ... after 15 years. Some time soon, will be the last time I see these people (good thing for some of them:), I'll never see Nancy's baby or have creative discussions with Alan over how we can best serve our customers.
What are the emotional steps for end of relationships? denial, anger, acceptance, ...? (remember Frasier episode?) Well, I'm sure one must be analyze, but that's what I'm good at. Did my past personal lackings affect their choice? We just hired a new person a month ago - do I care that his salary comes from another budget? The person from a recently merged department is capable to do my job - probably made it an easy decision for bosses. They've just been leading me on the past few months. Why can't they shift budgets around? Who are these other people that are also being layed off - I don't think I believe you. yadayadayada. The thoughts are endless ... and expected, but not helping. Whether they are giving me a story (polite word) or not, they're not going to change their minds so I NEED to accept it. Yah right! Maybe next week.
Guess what!? My termination letter is a form letter from Human Resources!! You care? Ya right!! I'm just another record in a HR database. But I'm not bitter :)
Just last week, I had set some goals for myself; one of which was to clarify what direction I really wanted to go with in my career. "Be careful what you ask for"!!!
Comments
I completely agree with you,
I completely agree with you, but as a "Career Practitioner " , I think you need to give some vailidity to the fact that the person has given 15 years of their life to an organization and apparently did a good job for them. The advice you give is valid but it lacks the personal aspect as perhaps the organnization has done as well. Perhaps some advice of a counsellor associated with the company (hopefully they have one) would be the best 1st step.
The writer after 15 years has developed a very strong "family" relationship and will suffer that loss and perhaps something more than "here's a way to find another job" may be in order. I am not sure of the statistics but I would guess alot of marriages last less than that and yet I'm sure when our friends "relationships" break down we don't just immedialtely give them the URL address for "lava life" ?
Hopefully in 6 months the writer will be in a better place and I hope you are not part of their HR.
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Dealing with layoff is a
Dealing with layoff is a complicated thing ... especially when you think that your performance and enthusiasm hasn't been optimal. I went through a phase of trying to determine if they were really firing me in a politically correct way. But then a whole year before termination is a real good thing. I've been riding a roller coaster the past 7 days now, but feel that I'm more stable and at least able to think straight and focus and not want to punch someone.
The Frasier episode that I previously mentioned was just on the tube the other night. The mentioned steps being followed after Frasier's job ending are 1) denial ... check; 2) anger ... check; 3) bargaining with God ... does meditation and prayer count? 4) depression ... check; 5) grief/crying ... doubt it; 6) acceptance ... almost there.
I ignored the whole situation on the weekend, although I was supposed to review my resume. Then Monday was terrible. I couldn't even calm my mind enough to meditate in the morning, then I couldn't focus on anything at work. Luckily a meditation class in the evening grounded me a bit. Then I was able to meet a councellor Tuesday morning (as Whosmad suggested). She gave me the personal feedback that 1) my reactions were normal, 2) one year time frame is excellent layoff terms, 3) I was on the right track by meditating and seeing brief moments of positive perspective. I came out focusing on the importance of maintaining my growing new meditation practise ... it would help me to minimize all those negative thoughts and allow my intuition and intellect to focus on solutions - and I've got a whole year to work on it. By meditatig on NOW, I can be content in the moment, focus on issues without putting any emotional attachment to the outcome. This will be a skill that will help me in so many other ways as well, since I'm a chronic analyzer.
Over the past few days, I've seen many things with completely different eyes. The big gap between rich and poor, social and lonely. Maybe my compassion in coming out, as I'm feeling vulnerable myself.
As part of my denial and anger, I was trying to apply my new eyes to a more wholistic HR solution for the world :) My job is in the healthcare industry, so I looked at my "diagnosis" from a healthcare point of view that my boss may understand. Drs explain a diagnosis to a patient in detail - the causes, symptoms and what to expect. They often also guide the patient through the different treatment options by providing the choices with possible side-affects. But the solution I was given was "you have one year to live" and "trust us that we tried to find a treatment for you". Of course that would be totally unacceptable in healthcare. But the problem is that HR actually means that humans are treated like resouces, just like a desk. Hence the boss's and HR's "help" being so logical and by-the-numbers - everybody gets the same "treatment". The human part of HR has disappeared. It's just the nature of the beast. Corporations are not supposed to be a family environment, it's our human nature that puts that quality upon our jobs.
The only solution (in my limited experience) that I can think of is the example of co-ops or share-holder operated businesses where everyone is given all the available information and able to contribute to finding solutions. Everyone is equal. There also needs to be a system for people to change their roles within the organization if they wish or as circumstances change. Time, money, roles should all be interchangable. But when our current system has such fixed rules of budgets, finances, profits. Of course this is the same kind of system that allows corporations to polute our environment which causes diseases, ...as long as lots of corporate and income taxes are paid to govts focused on the "THE ECONOMY" God. I prefer Bhutan's (Asian Buddhist country) focus on Gross National Happiness rather than GDP, but that's another story.
Another solution might be that a prerequisite for HR or management positions is that you must have been previously fired or layed-off yourself. Even in the medical field, it's still not common practise for doctors to treat patients like human beings, but just as a disease. They've never been a patient themselves.
So, now that I'm moving on ... do I want to continue on the same career track or start afresh with something I'm more passionate about - sustainability promotion/education/solutions? I prefer option b, but I have no formal education in it, nor the pursuasive personality usually necessary. I guess I've got a year to put ideas out there and see what comes back. This change has been a long time coming and is obviously the right time now (because it's happened now), so the right opportunity WILL present itself and I'll deal with the new situation.
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The good news is that today
The good news is that today is the first day of the rest of your life. Okay, that's a total cliche, but my advice ( as a Career Practitioner ) is to continue to be positive and look on the bright side. You are still young enough and have enough work years ahead of you to accomplish a great deal. There are tons of resources out there to help you in your career planning and job search. For free.
I believe that career shift is something that is all about attitude. You will find that you have days when you feel low and days when you see endless opportunity. Those competing sets of feelings are both correct of course, and your typical range of feelings will be somewhere in the middle of the up and the down.
As a starting place you may want to look at the Lower Mainland Employment Resources website (LMER) and consider if you are interested in starting with an independent job search or if there is an Employment Resource Centre that you want to use. Along the way you will meet a Case Manager and you may be referred to Service Canada funded programs and services. You will meet individuals who will help you and be amazing mentors, you will meet people who know less than you do about the career change process but who profess to be experts.
But I promise you, that if you keep your wits about you, your sense of humour intact and your attitude positive, that in six months you will be in a much better place personally and professionally than you ever thought possible.
Good Luck!