If I bolt, will you come find me

I’d give the $1000 to the Trail Career development Services program. One of their clients can explain why much better than I ever could:

"I am a grandson, a son, a father, a brother, an uncle, a criminal and a drug addict. I am sitting here waiting to be moved from jail to an assessment centre where they will try to find out what is wrong with me. I was an angry little boy that has grown up into an angry man.

Ever since I was a little boy I never quite knew how to take the rest of the world. In school the teachers spent a lot of time trying to get me to agree that these things called letters made sense when you put them on paper. The teacher would hold up letters and ask me in front of the class – what is this letter? I would bolt from the class and the confusion and embarrassment and would keep on running. The teachers would call my Mom and she would go and find me to bring me back to school. This only worked the first few times and then no one came looking for me, it was easier for my Mom and my teacher and me.

When I was about 10 years old no one could handle me, they sent me to a place for a long time to see what was wrong with me. By that time I refused to go to school, obey any rules and had stolen my first car. At this place they asked me lots of questions and told me that I had dyslexia and a lot of stuff about not being able to remember and learn things like everyone else. I am not sure what that is exactly but I do know that I cannot read or write anything.

Because I do not know how to read I cannot go into stores to buy things, read signs to find out where to go or rent a movie. None of my friends know I can’t read, all they know is I get mad lots and beat people up so they don’t ask. If I need something from the store it is easier to go in and steal it because you don’t have to worry about the cashier wanting you to sign something or not having enough money because I don’t know how much it says it costs. It is easier to deal with the cops when they come for me for theft than be embarrassed in the store having to tell someone I can’t fill this in and sign my name.

One of my friends told me about a place where they help people find work and took me to CDS. I met someone there and right away I felt like this was some place that I wouldn’t have to bolt and run from. They did not care if I could fill in the forms or read and write, that did not matter to them. I was hired right away to work on an outside landscaping crew with a job coach and another person.

Right from the start I felt supported, the employment counsellor at CDS helped me to set my alarm clock and also phoned me in the morning to make sure I was up. She called me and told me it was time to leave to walk to work because I could not tell time. I liked working really hard outside weed whacking and raking grass. The job coach filled in my time sheets, showed me what to do and made me feel good about working. When I wanted to learn how to work with chainsaws the job coach took the course with me, reading the stuff that I needed to know and helping me to answer the test questions.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and have spent a lot of time bolting and running away from things I don’t understand, but the one place I never bolted from was working at CDS.

I have gone down the very wrong path and have become addicted to drugs but have chosen to get some help to get my life back together. I am the father of two and would like to be in their life, but I have to be clean for that to happen. The counsellor at CDS helped to encourage my family and the court system to see that I needed help not to be sent to jail because of my disabilities. So now I am going for an assessment for 2 months and then to a treatment centre for 3 months.

Don’t cry for me, just commit to supporting a program that has supported myself and others to feel like they belong and that they can be productive. The time I spent with the job coach and others at CDS have motivated me to get clean and to stop bolting from life and face it head on.

Thank you for hearing my story."