beginnings

I am rooting for you and am sending you healing energy and support. You CAN do this.
When you need a bit of a nudge in terms of moral support, check back with the site, write another post. Reach out. We will support you, right people of ChangeEverything?

Kate

Ashly,

We've all been there (not a shelter per-se) but stuck in the "been here before and how am I going to make it different this time?" thoughts.

The great news and the bad news is that it's all down to you. Others can help but at the end of the day it takes your self-discipline and your own vision of what is possible to break out of whatever bad program you are running on yourself.

I am not a trained counsellor but I have done more than my fair share of development courses and I'd love to act as a mentor/guide to you if that would be useful for you. In my experience having another person to whom you have committed things to really helps in keeping people on the right path. I can't promise miracles but I can offer a stepping stone and a shoulder to get you up and running.

Hopefully you know and believe that just by recognising that you are in a pattern is the first step to breaking that pattern. 99% of people in your position never understand that they are repeating patterns - even people who we may look at as conventionally sucessful are screwing up their lives each day in the same way as they did yesterday. Just knowing what you know makes you exceptional and opens more doors to you than you can even imagine today.

Connect if you want support but I'll bet that offers of help will not be in short supply. So many people want to help people who want to help themselves and that seems to describe you.

Good luck.

Hi Ashly,
The sinking feeling might just be like the yellow lines on the road, giving you boundaries. Drive over the line, and you'll be less likely to hit your destination with health. So it's not a bad thing to have the "I gotta watch out" survival instinct. It would be great for you to put your focus on the road ahead, not behind. You can't drive very well with your gaze focused in the rear view mirror. Look to where you wish to travel. Lead your heart by keeping your eyes looking at where you wish to go. Every day, you get on the bus with that wish, "Here's where I want to go today." Forget yesterday or tomorrow. Where do you want to travel today? Go there. You will do it. Every day you do it, you will be able to look your soul in the eye.

Hi Ashly,
You may not know it because it feels rotten, but seeing where you are, really seeing, means that you have already come A HUGE distance. The next part is knowing in your bones that you are worth making the effort for. That's where most of us fall down. It isn't even just not knowing what to do.. it's believing that if we do something, we're worth it.

Ashly, you're worth it! I hope this little observation is helpful to you today: I have been trying to figure out how to keep other's people's invasive energy out of my 'sphere' without having to go around with a tank-shell around me. Here's what I figured out and am working with. I hope it helps you too!

I am my own sacred space! Imagine it like an egg around you, about the size of a phone booth. (remember those?)

And check back here because this is where kind and thoughtful people hang out.

Don't I know that that feeling.

That sense of being on a human version of a hamster wheel that keeps bringing you back to the same place you want so badly to get away from.

I don't have the answer, but I just want to share my sincere wish that you succeed--as well as my belief that you *can* succeed. I don't doubt it will be hard, and I really hope you'll have the support of folks who are worthy of your trust in the process. It's tough going it alone.

But whether you do it by yourself, or in community, you can do it. Keep on going Ashly...keep moving forward, one step at a time.

Warmest wishes,

nk

Marty and Rooperstar's are spot on in my opinion. The key to moving past problem behaviour is identifying it, naming it (for you it's sabotage), and being conscious of it. When you see yourself doing it, stop and ask yourself, is this what I really want? Chances are that answer is no and you can choose a different course of action.

Secondly, we should all take life one day at a time, each moment consciously lived. We all screw up once in awhile but shake it off, laugh about it even, then carry on with healing and a better, healthier life for yourself with the next action you take.

I look at the years that it's taken me to heal over a rough childhood and family life. My brothers didn't do so well, but I strove for peace of mind, a healthy outlook and that's what I got. My circle of friends and some of my family support me and have the same values but ultimately, it was me who wants peace. And I have that peace, day by day, choice by choice.

All the best. We're all rooting for you.

"it's not about the things you've done, it's about what you are doing now"

from all in the jungle by the hours

while I don't think I could add much more than has already been shared (price of coming to the conversation late) I would just simply echo the support that has been given. It is about the things you are doing now, but also as the song says, is how quickly are you going to get up.

Seems to me that you are in the process of getting up and staying up. Please continue to reach for those things that keep helping you. That is truly the greatest measure of strength - your post proves that. We believe you can.

S

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I am trying very hard to not backslide into bad habits of thought. All the kind words I have read today have helped.

Ashly,

You can do anything you want to do. You have an amazing opportunity and future ahead of you.

You will live an incredible life. There is a whole community here that believes in you.

And if you mess up something- that's o.k. We all do! Just recommit and keep going!

Keep your thoughts positive! They will keep you on the right track and create who you are :)