andrea_joy's Blog

If I win...

andrea_joy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:21:36 -0700

Just wanted to let everyone know that since I'm in the running to win up to $1,000 from Vancity, just for making a New Year's resolution, I thought the best thing to do with it would be to give a whole lot to charity.

So, the deal is that if I win, I will keep $400 for bill payments, rent, and all that fun stuff that I so desperately need. The remaining $600 will go directly to these three charities:

-Orphan Care International (the charity for the orphanage I volunteered at in Zambia two summers ago).
-HOPE International (a wonderful international aid organization)
-Water Aid (another wonderful international aid organization)

There you have it! Now I just need some votes to win. To vote, go to http://www.changeeverything.ca/who-your-winning-pick-2009-vi... and vote for "All you need is love" -andrea joy.

Thanks. :)

Wow!

andrea_joy — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:39:23 -0800

This is so exciting! I just got an email that I'm one of the contenders for the New Year's Resolution prize! I'm feeling pretty grateful and lucky to be in this group.

I know I haven't written in a while, because I've been (surprise!) a little busy. But with some great things. I've realized that mine is a very much an ongoing resolution, with no fixed "arrival" point. Every week I've been presented with new challenges and opportunities to either be an uber-achiever or to have balance and cultivate my relationships.

All you need is love! Maybe I should tattoo it to my hand as a reminder. :)

A quickie!

andrea_joy — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 11:45:35 -0800

Well, this is an interesting twist: I just got home from sunny Mexico! And believe it or not, going there actually was part of helping me learn this little lesson and make my "all you need is love" change. (I know, I know, what a hardship, learning lessons by going to Mexico.)

Here's the story. Before Christmas my Mom mentioned to me that they were thinking of taking the family on a vacation to Mexico in the end of January. I was under the understanding that we were only going if we didn't have to go to Calgary for a funeral that same month (my aunt who passed away on Dec. 27th was quite ill already then and it looked like the end was approaching). So then, as we know, we did go to Calgary for the funeral, which prompted me re-learning this valuable lesson about life and that relationships are more important than accomplishments. So I assumed the trip was a no-go.

Then about 2.5 weeks ago my Mom calls me at 8:30am (wake up call!) and says that they're booking the trip to Mexico for us and Grandma, and can I still go? Here's the thing: I am producing a show right now, and was supposed to be starting rehearsals for another show, and all this other stuff. I can't believe it, but I was actually thinking that I shouldn't go. I had too much work to do here, I couldn't take a week to be with my family.

Then in my still-asleep brain, I thought: what's more important here? Going to meetings that I can easily send a few emails about or spending a week with my family and Grandma, all of whom I don't get to see that often due to my schedule and the fact that they live an hour away.

Of course I would go.

My first epiphany!

andrea_joy — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 22:53:55 -0800

Okay, so my big change is going to be to put my relationships with loved ones first right? The new motto is "all you need is love", meaning investing time in relationships and not accomplishments, yes? (Sorry for the redundancy, I just need repetition to drive things home.)

This week I've had some opportunities to shift things around a little!

First off, last week I thought maybe I would start a little mini-business. I was going to open an Etsy shop. Etsy, for those of you who don't know, is a website that lets people sell their handmade wares, very popular amongst DIY-types. The start-up fee is basically zero, so I thought, what could I lose? Well, it turns out lots and lots of time. I made a couple of the little stuffed monsters I wanted to sell, and I thought I could whip them up pretty quickly, but it turns out it takes me quite a lot of alone-with-the-DVD-player time to complete one lil' monster. It also turns out it costs me a fair amount of mental space. I got stressed pretty quickly about whether or not I was making enough, if they were good enough to sell, how I could make them faster, and so on. Yeesh! This was not very fitting with my new change!

So, I've decided to change my attitude from "I'll find a way to cram in the time to do all this on top of all my work and maybe still seeing friends" to one that lets me put the project on hold. Maybe later I'll do it, but for now I'm going to spend the time I would have spent sitting alone and sewing with people that matter to me.

I organized a potluck with some close friends this week, as well as weekly gatherings to enjoy a pint at our neighbourhood pub and enjoy each other's company. This feels much better to me than all that other stress I was going to have!

Maybe instead of selling those little monsters I've made, I'll give them as gifts during some of this hanging out time! I love gift-giving as a way of showing I care about someone.

Oh, and I just had a thought! When I do restart this Etsy shop project, instead of sitting around my house by myself with my TV sewing, I can have sewing/crafting parties! That way I can combine a little productivity with a lot of friendship and love! Because one thing that I need to keep in mind is that making relationships a priority does not mean abandoning work and projects that are also fulfilling. It just means balance. Aaaaaah... *sigh* ... balance.

Okay, that's all for today. Stay tuned for my other epiphanies. :)

New times!

andrea_joy — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 13:40:31 -0800

Okay, so like I said in my little blurb, I've always been a bit of a go-getter. I kind of defined my self worth based on how much I'd achieved, produced, or accomplished. Especially if those things received public recognition. It seems the most important thing in my life was to have a really long and impressive resume.

This was all getting a little daunting, and kind of depressing/anxiety-producing. I mean, really, if all that I'm worth is what I produce, then I never get a lazy day! Or a day of just hanging out with my friends and enjoying their company! Or enough time to spend with my wonderful and caring partner! My day planner was a very stressful place to be, cramming social engagements in between work, artistic projects, charity projects, and existential crises.

A couple of years ago my Grandpa passed away. He was without a doubt one of the best men I had ever known in my life. And he accomplished a lot, he was very involved with many charities throughout his life, taught, coached basketball, spent a couple of years in Singapore and Nigeria training teachers, and so on. At first I thought his life was great because of all that. But it wasn't, it was great because of the love he shared with everyone around him. Every individual who he got to know was special and meaningful, and that brought meaning to him. I learned this lesson at that time, but it didn't last long what with the stresses of university life and a need for top grades amongst everything else.

Then this Christmas, my Aunt passed away. Again, I was reminded of what really matters in life. Her life was meaningful and wonderful, not because of what she produced, but because of her relationships with individual people. She loved everyone and was interested in their lives. She was open and sharing and enriched those she got to know. Like my Grandpa did before her.

So that's my resolution, my change. I am sick of trying to achieve things constantly at the expense of my relationships. One thing The Beatles got right: All you need is love. That's how I will become the person I'm meant to be! So that's my plan. I'm going to put my relationships with the people I love first and achievement second.

Let the adventure begin!