Sing, sing a song

Have you heard of Shivon Robinsong? She is one of the reasons I think of going to live in Victoria. 

I first met her at a conference at Hollyhock on Cortes 5 years ago. On the way there I'd heard that there was to be singing at this conference and to this day, I remember standing in the parking lot of Hollyhock, arms crossed and heels firmly digging into the gravel and saying, "I am not F*(%ing singing".  By the end of the week of her leading us in song each morning, I was converted. On the last day, I was the one jumping up and down, "one more song, please? one more song"

I was told as a child that I had a bad voice and was asked by my music teacher Mrs. Holmes not to sing and to instead stand in the back and mouth the words. I wonder if she knew what a major and tragic impact her words were to have in my life. I often feel terrified to sing, even though I long to so strongly.

There is a woman named Anna B who has gone over for Shivon's training and now has a weekly choir here in Vancouver. It is really quite fun. I just might take it up again.  It's true, anyone can sing. And everyone should. Music is a deep current that runs in all of us.

For a long time, I was embarrassed about the way my voice sounds. It's still one of the things I have the most trouble with since the great "Hey, let's grow 8 inches taller than everyone else in our class!" debacle of my teenage years.

It's taken me a long time, but I'm finally feeling more comfortable with my body. I actually own (and occasionally wear!) heels now. Take that, feet!

Now I'm starting to warm up to my voice as well. When I think about it, one of the biggest catalysts happened several months ago. I randomly met a group of women visiting Vancouver from Seattle -- two couples a decade or so older than me. We struck up a conversation and, one of them mentioned --without any fishing on my part-- that she thought I had had a great voice. The other three chimed in, agreeing that my voice was "hot" and did I sing? Oh, but I should! I'd sound great. One of them compared it to "Shane, you know, from the L Word?" This was met with agreement and much nodding.

What!? These were not sentiments I've often heard. Were they messing with me? No, that didn't seem likely, given the spontaneity and apparent sincerity of their words. Sure, perhaps their comparison to Katherine Moennig as Shane was a bit of a stretch, but then again, I've always known that I was being just a tad insecure and self-deprecating by describing my voice as sounding like Captain Janeway as portrayed by Bea Arthur.

Days later, after I'd given their words some thought, I realized that even if their opinion isn't one that's broadly agreed-upon, that's not important. What is important is the source of the sentiment: a group of seemingly successful, socially-inclined gay women. Sure, in general terms, it's nice being told you have an attractive quality, but I know that I've always been far more receptive to compliments from the cute girl handing me my coffee than from some random dude as I step around him on the street.

So maybe it doesn't matter if everyone thinks my voice is hot, so long as it's possible that someone does. We all seek validation from others, despite mostly realizing that it's not particularly healthy and that we should feel good about ourselves without needing someone else's approval. Still, free compliments feel good, particularly when they come from someone unexpected. The fact that it came from several someones -- several lesbian someones -- made it all the more satisfying to hear.

So where does this newfound sense of not-total-loathing leave me now? I came away from the Northern Voice 2007 conference with an interest in video blogging. I'm beta testing Second Life's upcoming voice chat system, and as I write this, I realize that I can't remember the last time I felt anxiety about using the phone. Wow. Maybe even just singing along to Dar and Ani isn't such a far-fetched idea after all.

Sometimes, positive change happens without us even being fully aware of it. I'd like to keep that up.

Hi there,

 My husband and I met through music and it continues to be our passion. Now that we're parents, we're loving singing to our little boy and taking him to a wide range of musical events offered in the city.

 We've also been picking up musical videos (Singing in the Rain, Easter Parade, etc) from the library and playing (and re-playing) the dance and singing scenes which he just adores. They're cheerful, upbeat, and well choreographed, plus the singing is usually great. We never actually watch the movie because it's usually pretty lame and predictable.

 If you like singing with others - the place to go is the Vancouver Folk Song Society events. We went last year for the first time to their  summer retreat in White Rock and it was fantastic. Lots of fun, no uptight attitutudes about singing or song-worthy voices. Just lots of singing around a campfire, great food, and great people. Very reasonable too. Only could use some more children.  Here's a link http://www.geocities.com/vfss.geo/

 Singing together intergenerationally is becoming a lost art and is a great community activity. It's worth rekindling!

Count me in!

Public singing would be just so much more fun in the traffic ... consider how different road rage would be if conducted in a falsetto??  What a hoot ..... and just one of the ways we could bring a little lilt to an otherwise weary world. 

Recently I was up a big mountain skiing in some pretty dodgy conditions.  Out of nowhere came a humming sort of singing voice - attached to a snowborder.  I thought - how fun is that - and so gave it a go myself.  Suddenly the snow wasn't so icy, I relaxed, and having foggy conditions (so I felt less out there) gave me the courage to belt out ...."rows and flows of angel hair, and ice cream castles in the air ..."  Yeah - that was a good day of riding ..... and the singing was what made it feel just that bit more joyful than how I normally feel when flying free in the white stuff.

 Come on Vancouver - warm up your pipes .... live a little.